About the Bumper Sticker

When I was growing up I had a place where I was always loved. A place where I could ask questions, and be vulnerable, and explore who I was and what I believed about… anything. For me, and for lots of other high schoolers over the years, this place was my church youth group. When I talk about about that youth group, Fellowship In Senior High or FISH, I liken it to the island of misfit toys. Our group was drawn from all different religions, different sports, artistic talents, high schools- we took in everyone. I’ve been involved with the group on and off since the summer before my freshman year in high school- as a student, a church member, a leader, and now as someone who regularly prays for the group from a far. I am so thankful for their existence, and so thankful for the sanctuary they provided me and many others over the years.

I can remember being in high school, I think it was my senior year, and someone wanted to add the term “homosexual” to the school districts non-discrimination policy. There were town hall meetings and letters to the editor, it was contentious. And it was tough as a closeted but obviously questioning youth. One day a letter to the editor said that there was no need to add this language because homosexuals were “vile and disgusting.” It’s been over 15 years and I can still remember standing in the closing circle at FISH.  We would stand in a circle and go around and share joys and concerns, make silly jokes, whatever and then at the end of it we’d all run around and hug each other. It’s an introverts third circle of hell I think, but I loved it. And I remember standing there,  reading that letter out loud and just being so upset and hurt and not understanding all my feelings and not even sure what I was asking of the group, just for them to hear me. And one of the leaders who was a college student then came over and gave me a hug and said he really thought that it would be ok and that things were going to change and to hang in there.

I am incredibly aware that this experience of having a place to go and be yourself, whoever that is in that moment, and have that be affirmed is not something that all kids have, regardless of how they identify their sexuality or gender identity. I’m also aware that many kids don’t have a home where they are loved and welcomed and celebrated. In so many ways I have been blessed beyond measure, and I am thankful for the places and people who have been there for me along the way.

When I got my full time job I knew that I wanted to spend most of my tithe to support organizations that provide this safe space for youth, specifically LGBTQ youth. One of the organizations I gladly and proudly support is called rosmy. A very dear friend works for them and I believe very much in her work and the word the organization is doing. And since I have a history of non profit work, I know that my small-ish tithe to them is still helpful. So I give them money, and I put a bumper sticker on my car. I love the sticker. You can see it on this post, it says “Love who you are.” I cannot overstate how wonderful I think this sticker is.

This past Thursday, Maundy Thursday, when we Christians celebrate the last supper and talk about the love of Christ, and of serving one other, and remembering Christ’s love, we had some very un-loving things happen at our church. The first happened right as I got to work. Our office manager came down the hall and said that she’d gotten a call from a church down the road. One of their parishioners had seen that the PC(USA) decided to allow same- sex marriages and he lost it. This man started sending emails saying that we should kill all the homosexuals and the Presbyterians. So the church called us and just let us know about it and said he’d forwarded the emails to the police, but just wanted us to know. So that was odd. I found myself noticing just how many people are around our church during the day. A preschool. A daycare for senior citizens. Staff people. Small groups. I just couldn’t help but notice how many lives are around me every day that I’m in the office.

And then, late in the afternoon, the preschool director stopped at my office. She said, you have the little black car, right? With the “Love who you are” bumper sticker?” and I said, yup, that’s me. And she sat down and said she wanted to tell me what had just happened. A mom was on her way into the church to drop off payment and enroll her kid for preschool for next fall. And as she was heading into the building she saw my bumper sticker. She told the preschool director that she found it “troubling” and wanted to know if we were a Christian church or not. She had other questions about what the preschool taught the kids, and after a short conversation she decided it would not be a good fit for her family and she left. Now there are some truths here that I need to acknowledge. First is that a parent has every right to choose what kind of preschool their kid goes to, if they go to preschool. And a progressive preschool isn’t for everyone, and that is perfectly fine. The other thing is that this would not have a been a good fit. If my bumper sticker bothered her, there are plenty of others that were there earlier in the morning she would have also objected to. It’s better they figured this out now before their kid had started school and found lots of friends and then they have to pull him out. So, it’s good in that way. But it’s also really hard for me in a lot of ways that I still am struggling to put words to. I’m sad that this kiddo won’t get to experience an amazing preschool. I’m sad that this woman was so disturbed by my bumper sticker that she questioned our Christianity. But I also know that my sticker is true. That we should love who we are. It’s something I struggle with, maybe that’s part of why I love the sticker. Every morning I see it and am reminded that I was made good in God’s image. In Romans 8:38 &39, Paul writes “For I am convinced that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor rulers, nor things present, nor things to come, nor powers, nor height, nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord.” Nothing. Not laws, not bullies, not people who disagree with us, not people who judge us, nothing can separate us from the love of God. So love who you are, even if you’re still not sure who that is. Even if it changes tomorrow. Love who you are.